Follow Up To Mud Wrap ~

I survived the mud wrap and the detoxifying wrap.  I didn't loose 20 pounds, I didn't have glowing skin and I sure didn't feel detoxified.  Loosing 20 pounds wasn't part of the claims but I was hoping to be a little lighter.  I showered twice during the whole process so I for sure was clean when it was all said in done.

I can sum the whole experience up by saying that the next time I lay nude, on a table covered in plastic, under very bright lights, it better be for an autopsy.

Mud Wraps Musings~

I'm getting a mud wrap and a firmness wrap.  Unfortunately I can't even tell you what this means.  I got the package when I was on about day two of a really bad diet last January. Bad as in I was only getting to eat enough food to sustain a baby squid so I didn't have a lot of brain power working.  The diet was a power fail but now I have to use this package before it expires. So I send the "wrapper lady" a message asking what I need to wear and  what I need to do to get ready.  She responds with one line "Just wear something comfortable and be ready to relax." ???? Really? That's all the prep info I get?  Surely she doesn't' mean for me to show up in an old tee-shirt of Shug's with no underwear on - because that is my "comfortable and ready to relax" look.  I HATE not having a ton of info before something like this.  I like things spelled out for me.  Should I have shaved? Will I be naked? Mud over the clothes sounds awful so I must be getting undressed but now I'm obsessing over the undergarment part.  Bra or no bra? It's to much stress just getting ready.  I'm going to need a xanex for sure. Maybe a shot too.  I told my friend Beth I was hoping to loose 30 pounds during the wrap and she suggested if it worked we should do one every day until we reach our target weight.  I wish!
More to come...

Wallpaper Ya'll!

The wallpaper is up!  It was a lot of work - not putting it up, I paid someone to do that.  It was a lot of work getting the wallpaper here and ready.  I ordered my paper from Anthropologie, they have some very yummy wall paper!   When the Wallpaper Professional Extraordinaire  opened the first three rolls she found a printing mistake.  At this point I was getting a little freaked because it had taken me forever (in my mind) to pick the paper and I couldn't imagine finding another I loved as much.  Also, I was just being dramatic. The paper had been cut into lots and lots of strips. I needed to return the messed up rolls to  Anthropologie.  I thought this whole process was going to be a total pain in the ass but it turns out Anthro is the BEST. The cute girl at the counter took the giant box of cut up wallpaper and set it on the counter behind her, the smile never leaving her face. And then before I could get very far into  my very long and overly detailed story she ask if  I would like them to overnight three new rolls or refund my money.  WOW!  I had the new rolls sent to my wallpaper gal, she inspected them, and hung them. They are perfect.  I am so pleased to present my new (old bathroom) and my gorgeous wallpaper!  And it only took two rolls so I took back the third and did what any self repeating woman would do - I bought myself a new sweater!







Here

Long Time No Blog...

I can't believe I haven't blogged since August.  I would like to believe that anyway, but I have been flighty in the past so it's probably no big surprise.  I'm back now so I'll pick up where I left off.

School is still sucking for my 6th grader but the good news is she is the next kid on the waiting list for a really great school.  It's a private school that I really believe is a great fit for her.  I have always been a huge supporter of the public school system - but as things stand I can't wait to get out of it.  60 kids in one class, 40 in honors science, it's just to many.  Her smallest class is honors English and she has 33, which is still to crowded.  Over 600 6th graders crammed into a historic Elementary building is over the top.  They are the only grade in the building but I'm pretty sure back a million years ago when it was built it was meant for more like 200 kids.  So now we wait for a spot to open.  That means somebody needs to move, or get divorced or get kicked out - something!  I am to afraid of the karma that my wishing any of these things on a family might bring so I am hoping and praying some family gets a great promotion that they can't pass up and have to move away for - and then my child gets their spot!   As far as the public school crisis goes... if anyone out there thinks that Rick P would be a good choice for president please email and I can give a long list of reasons why he would SUCK at it.  I am living in his state, and he has done nothing for our public schools.  Plus he's just a complete clown.  I feel pretty certain that the four people who actually read this blog are way to smart to vote for that nutcase!

THE HOUSE:
We have been in the throws of remodeling our 90+ year old home for the last 9 weeks and it's been a mix of greatness and hell.  I love that the popcorn ceilings are gone and that everything has been repainted - I HATE the dust that it created.  I love that the old original bathroom has been remodeled and is beautiful but I can't believe how much crack I've had to see everytime I peaked in to see the workers progress.  I can't imagine for the life of me why men don't care that their crack shows.  One of the workers was so in love with my dog and I caught him sitting indian style criss cross applesauce on the floor petting Pablo about a million times.  Which is really sweet that he liked the dog but every time I walked up on that scene I had to see his crack and think about the fact that he should be rubbing grout on the shower walls not rubbing my dog! Tomorrow the final phase of the bathroom will be finished, a lady will be here hanging wall paper and then I will post before and after pictures!  You may be thinking "wallpaper?" but this is not your grandmothers wall paper - it's a really large print and groovy and beautiful.  I kept the original floors in the bathroom which are these very small tiles that all these houses have in them.  Some of them are chipped and a few are missing but I refused to change the floor.  I updated everything else, subway tiles a third of the way up the walls, the tub torn out and tiled into a big shower, new sink and toilet, and tomorrow wallpaper - but the sweet old original floors remain. I think between the floors and the wallpaper I nailed it. I did have them preserve the floor under the shower where the rest of the tiled floor is so if someday someone else owns this house and they want to put in a claw foot tub they can rip out my shower, and under they will find the old tiles protected by wood and some kind of rubber stuff.

I've fallen behind on reading a few blogs that I really enjoy so I'm going to catch up and see whats been going on in their lives and leave comments and show them some love.

I'll leave you with a picture of the dog loving worker - cutting tiles with no crack showing. Your welcome.

Have a great day!

6th Grade Is Killing Me

Sixth grade is killing me and I'm 41.  My sweet girl started 6th grade this week and it is one of the hardest things I've gone through as a parent.  The school is full of 6th graders, twice as many kids as she had in her whole elementary.  It's a shock to the system.  Her classes are full of kids she doesn't know, the cafeteria is a sea of faces, laughing and talking and hanging out, and she is floating without a life preserver.

 I know she will be okay, and I know that a billion kids have gone before her and survived.  But they weren't my child.

I so clearly remember taking her to kindergarten.  As we walked down the hall she held my hand tight, and as we walked into the room she held even tighter.  Those tiny little fingers gripping with all their might. As we walked down the sidewalk to the 6th grade center I was rattling on about how much fun it was going to be and how great it would be to make new friends, and then I felt her.  She reached out and took my hand, holding on tight, those fingers, now longer, griping with all their might.  And in that moment, my heart ached in a way I hadn't known before - like all the other times in her life I could somehow protect her from the really crappy parts of growing up, but not this time.

I want her to make a really great friend, to feel comfortable, to laugh a lot, and to remember 6th grade as a great time in her life.  I want everyone I know to pray that this is what will happen, and if you don't pray then light a candle, or send it out to the universe, just do something, because seeing big sad tears roll down her face is killing me.  

Gas is Great, Gas is Good...

I had my teeth cleaned today. My dentist gives gas for this, if you want it. I do. I used to have dental anxiety (from a kooky dentist I had as a kid) but 12 years ago I hit the dentist jackpot. He eases all my anxiety with his kind bedside manner... and gas - I actually don't mind going anymore. My husband thinks it's weird that I always use the gas. BUT, he's never tried it! He's chicken to ask for it. He won't admit that part but I know it's true. He says he doesn't need it and that they would think he was some kind of drug head for asking for it. I know he's wrong. It's one of the last frontiers of "legal highs". Seriously, look how happy I am, and I'm in a dental chair!

A Painted House

The paint is finished!  We are still waiting on the new wood windows that will go in upstairs.  It seems like there is always something more to do on an old home.  I'm not complaining, all we wanted when were buying was an old house, it's just that there is a lot of upkeep.  Now that the house is painted it's time to move onto the next project and I'm lazy.  I'm not to proud to say it - I'm lazy.  Maybe if I had a really great eye for design it would be different, but every idea takes me for ever to steal come up with.
As I said before, I got the paint idea from a feed on Flicker, Daily Bungalow. Again, one of those ideas I didn't come up with my self.

Shirts Of My Father

#1

My dad (the 76yr old and the one w/o the mohawk) gives me tea-shirts. About every other month. I think he gets them in the mail, or maybe he buys them at gas stations - I've never asked. They always have something to do with eagles, freedom, gun rights, those sorts of things. They're obviously not my style but that doesn't stop him. I've decided to do a series of photographs of the shirts titled:  Shirts Of My Father

More Disney

My Brother in law is the one who looks like he's in a coma...

Disney World

We are here!

From the mouths...

At the end of the year the children at our school are required to put together a portfolio that they feel represents their best work. This was one of the papers Henry (8yr) chose for his.

Memorial Day~

The whole family is in Sunset for the weekend. It's hot, the food is good, the family is crazy and it's damn near perfect. I'm learning to embrace the crazy.

PMS, Xanex & Choconex

As I've gotten older my PMS has gotten worse.  How many times am I going to say that on this blog? Recently it was at an all time high.  It was at the level of My husbands chewing is driving me f*%king crazy, which is very bad.  I prefer it to not get any higher than I hate my furniture, it's all ugly and I decorate like shit. In an ideal world it would never get worse than I'm bloated.  This time when it was at it's worst I had to medicate with Xanex and Choconex. For you armatures out there Choconex is chocolate used as a medication, as in medicinal chocolate.  The fact that I prescribe it to myself makes it no less official. When I want to rip someones head off because of  PMS sometimes all it takes to bring me down from the ledge is good  Choconex.

Arts and Crafts 1917

Our house is being painted! This is the fourth color in 14 years which is really normal for a home that is wooden and was built in 1917.  When we bought our home it was pink, pale pink, but still.  The first color we I picked was supposed to be a tan but when we got home from work it was the color of the old flesh crayon that used to be in a box of 64 Crayolas.  Of course, that doesn't exist anymore since Crayola realized that flesh comes in lots of colors.  Anyway, it was terrible and we hated it but we couldn't do anything about it. Also it was one time in our marriage Shug gave me all the credit.  We couldn't afford to change it so we had to live with it.  Some years later the house was painted a gray green with white trim, black porch, doors and accents - I loved it.  But this time takes the cake - it's blue but a really dark blue with a couple of drops of gray, and I don't mean navy at all.  The trims are all white and the porch, accents and doors will be chocolate.  I wish I could say I came up with this but I'm copying it from a picture I saw on flicker from  a girl who only takes pictures of Arts and Crafts homes. I'm so excited and also just a bit anxious because I want it to look great, I want my neighbors to love it too and I want it to add to the greatness of my street - which is Magnolia.  They say they'll be finished tomorrow but I'm not holding my breath.  This job was started weeks ago, then the rain came, and the high winds, then more rain, and some days of the painters not showing up because they were on other jobs. So for the longest time (6 weeks)  its been in the scrapped stage which was driving me crazy.  The fact that it sat like this drove me crazy and caused more than one fight between Shug and I.  A few times I said things like if they actually show up to paint today I'm going to give you the BJ of a lifetime. So,  maybe a few times when they didn't show up it actually turned out to be in my favor being that I said that a lot. It's a hell of a motivator. I will post pictures as soon as they are finished.

This message is for M -

You have to tell me how to be invited to see the blog... or else I won't be able to throw the cyber shower!

Text Message PSA

We took a family trip and caravaned with two other families. It was an easy four hour trip that took us about 5 1/2 hrs. Sometimes we would text the other cars to see where they were. At one point I was driving and Shug had my phone. One mom sent me this funny text that she was drinking (a joke). Shug took it upon himself to respond on my behalf- another joke. It was at this point that her child (age 8) was playing on her phone and read the text out loud when it came through. Yikes!

So what I'm picturing is her son not getting his work done in class and his teacher asks him what the problem is- he answers " I'm  just baked and horny"  because he's tired and mad.

Prisoners & Disney World

Sister and I (and husbands) are taking the kids to Disney World in June! We bought the trip in January and have been waiting until it got closer to tell them.  I had this great idea that we would blindfold them and all of us put on Mickey mouse shirts for the big reveal.  The reason I wanted us to wear Disney shirts is because I thought it would be really funny to see Shug and my brother in law in them.  I was so right - this is two guys who would never wear a shirt with Mickey on it.  Anyway, I couldn't find blindfolds so I grabbed pillowcases. The kids put them on, we all put on our dorky Mickey shirts then we told the kids to take off their blindfolds and guess where we were going the day after school got out.  They went crazy screaming, jumping into daddy's arms, jumping on his back, screaming Disney stuff.  Of course,  as sweet as all that was, I was thinking about bad it would suck if they threw his back out and I had to do 7 days at Disney without his help him.   Aside from that thought,  it was so fun to see their joy..  As soon as Sister and I watched the video we realized the kids look like prisoners at Guantanamo Bay.  So much for Disney wanting to use our video in one of their commercials. 

Wren Coralie

My niece was born tonight. She is healthy and beautiful. Less than an hour old when I took this picture.
It looks like she's trying to tell me something. I've been loving her long before tonight - my love runneth over!

Organizing and Pretty Mormon Bloggers

Organizing
I am down to 24 days left to clean out and organize my home.  Last week went pretty good.  My closet took 2 1/2 days, 3 garbage bags of trash, 2 garbage bags of donations and 4  Space Bags. I am a crazy fan of the Space Bag - they are exactly like the commercial, holding tons of crap stuff.  I put my winter clothes in one, some clothes of my mom's that I wanted to keep forever in one, another with old concert tee shirts and the last jumbo bag is holding all the clothes that don't fit me right now.  I hate to even admit that.  I know they will fit when I drop this last 10 pounds and every time I look in my (almost empty) closet I'm  reminded  that I better stop eating. As for the rest of the week, well, I got caught up in a few other family projects.  I'm back on track as of today and the area is my dresser and night stands.  They look terrible but by tomorrow they will look great.  Pictures to come!

Pretty Mormon Bloggers
I love reading blogs.  I click on random blogs from blog rolls, looking in at others lives.  And I have stumbled upon an interesting connection - There are a lot of pretty Mormon bloggers.  Their clothes are always cute and pressed, their hair fixed, their homes decorated well - they look so put together.  And I can't leave out stylish.  I hate to admit this but I had a really different Mormon picture in my mind. And no it wasn't all long skirts and long hair with big puffy bangs and no makeup.  It was just conservative and maybe a bit pain, okay okay,  boring, I thought anyone who never gets coffee or cokes must be boring! And I was wrong, really wrong.  There is a disproportionate number of pretty Mormon bloggers.  What is up with that?
And, I want to say, for the record,  that while I am positive that my current followers that blog aren't Mormon they are pretty too.

For the Next 30 Days...

I'm jumping on the bandwagon, the I'm going to __________ for thirty days and write about it bandwagon. Some are really inspirational. I just saw a woman on the news who works at Goodwill and is going to be wearing goodwill clothes for the next month - well I already did that. It was the 80's and I thought I was alternative and cool. I wanted to wear black all the time (I still do, but now it's because I want to look thinner), and cheap vintage stuff was the way to go.  Kind of like the whole Pretty In Pink thing only not so pink, or pretty for that matter.  It was probably a little bit about pissing my mother off too. 

I decided mine will be cleaning out and organizing a different space in my home everyday for the next thirty days.  I'm going to document it in pictures.  I've been saying that I was going to get it all organized for about the last 4 years.  I'm hoping that putting out there for everyone to see (all 3 of you) will keep me on tract.  Kind of shame me into following through - we'll see. So here's the list of what I'm going to be cleaning out - in no specific order.
1. My closet     2. Shug's closet     3. Laundry room     5. Kitchen cabinets     6. Coat closet    

7. Built in bookcases     8. Kitchen drawers    9. Pantry     10. Media cabinet    11.  Wooden chest

12. Window seat    13. Craft closet   14. Under my bed   15. My room   18. Entry way and entry baskets

19.  Guest room   20. Ella's closet   21. Henry's closet   22.

I'm stopping at 21 because I'm pretty sure that some of the projects are going to take me more than one day.  I'm going to work on the projects while the kids are at school. That gives me about 5 solid hours of work.  I'll post before and after pictures.  I started yesterday with my closet.  I didn't take a picture at the very beginning because I forgot, but I did get a couple of during. I'm about to finish the shelves and then start on Shug's closet.  I could really use an 8 ball but it's 2011 not the early 90's.  On that note I'm going to grab some really strong coffee and get to it.  Pictures to come!

Sunday Morning Fun

The audio on this video is crazy funny. . Henry is on the bike and his friend is cheering from the side lines.
Enjoy!

Dumbass?

I knew the minute I saw this billboard what was coming. I asked Henry (age 8) to read it out loud... Of course he said "Keeping Dumbass Happy". I LOVE doing stuff like this!!!
Happy Friday!

Hobo Fashionista

We were coming home from the plant shop when I saw him/her. My dad drove around the block three times so I could get the perfect shot. I love living in the city!

Great Aunt Ruth And Hunchie

Unbelievable - I write a post about Hunchie and that she might be dying then throw in a tid bit about Great Aunt Ruth, her birthday and how she lives on and on AND then they BOTH die. And Great Aunt Ruth died first.

What follows is a timeline because frankly I can't think of a better way to tell it.

• 2-5-11 Sister,myself and the children celebrate GAR's birthday with sweets, homemade cards, and GAR's usual grouchiness. She also tells us she thought we had deserted her - totally ignoring the part about how we had been snowed in for 4 days!





I'm  making a fake scared face!





• 2-12-11 Sister called to tell me GAR wasn't feeling well so I headed to the nursing home. When I got there she wanted to go to the hospital.  I called for an ambulance and when it arrived I went and picked up Sister.  We beat them to the hospital.  After she got there and had seen a few doctors we were told she had some pneumonia in her right lung.  They gave her a breathing treatment and she seemed to be doing better.  Everyone knows that ER's can take forever, and you wait and wait and wait.  Sister and I decided to goof around and GAR didn't mind.  We played Gray's Anatomy and took pictures of each other.
• After we had taken the pictures and thought everything was going well a cardiologist came in.  He said she was in congestive heart failure and had suffered a massive heart attack. I want to make it very clear that we never would have taken such pictures had we known it was a grave situation! We were moved to a room with the intention of making her more comfortable and finalizing some decisions about her care. Sister and I took turns staying with her the rest of the evening and then I went to a costume party.  Sister swears that every time someone is possibly dying and we are in charge I go to a party.  I agree dispute this.

• 2-13-11 Afternoon: Again we took turns staying with her so she wouldn't be alone.  I was feeling really sure that she would be moved back to her nursing home on Monday and then she would pass away in about a week or two.  It has been that way for Sister and I.  So during my shift I kept sister updated through pictures.  Like the one of the mini mountain skin tag on GAR's arm.  When they came in to bring GAR a more comfortable mattress I ran down to the gift shop.  I was looking for supplies like magazines and candy.  While shopping my bagged bumped a statue of Jesus and knocked him over and his head broke off.  Sister said she thought it was a sign. And then she laughed her head off because she is totally inappropriate like that. 
• Late Evening:  Sister and I were @ the hospital @ 7pm to spend time with GAR together.  She was awake and could visit with us and she was able to tell us when she needed pain medicine.  I'm pretty sure neither of us thought she would pass away quick.  But she did.  We spent the night holding her hands and talking with her.  She died at 10pm. But not before we had called the nurse at 8:30 to tell her that I thought she had died - I was wrong.  I think it's a pretty easy mistake to make.  So when she did actually pass away Sister and I weren't sure; was she resting peacefully? had she fallen asleep? Sister kept taking the pulse ox reader off GAR's finger and putting it on her own to see if it was working - it was - the reason that it wasn't showing any reading for GAR is because she wasn't alive.  Still this wasn't enough evidence.  Finally I called for the nurse "Hello, may I help you?"  "Um yes I need someone to come to my Great Aunt's room please" "OK, what do you need?" "Um, we need someone to come check and see if she has a heart beat"   Then Sister and I both laughed like crazy because sometimes laughing is all you can do. 

10:30 - Sister and I were left alone with GAR's body (it's what they do). Actually the nurse just said "We are going to give you sometime now."  So there we were, having some time...  And then we started talking about how no one in the whole world ever saw GAR other than Sister and I, our children and the workers at the nursing home.  That led us to realize that if we didn't tell anyone in our family she had died no one would know.  That means we could just keep telling our husbands that we had to go take care of GAR and really we could hangout together, go to the movies, go shopping, just do anything we wanted!!!  And no one would be the wiser.  It's genius I know!!!  We are smart enough to know that we couldn't get away with it forever but at least for a month. 

All this happened on Sunday and then Hunchie died on Friday.  She really held on.  That's officially it for family members other than the immediate ones.  And I have decided not to ever blog about the state of their health in regards to how long they might live - considering GAR and Hunchie's outcomes after the last post. 

As always, thanks for letting me talk!

I Couldn't Have Said It Better Myself

I read a great blog post the other day and wanted to share it.  Read it here!  It's about discrimination.  It's so well written and it has gotten me really fired up.   I live around people who are so accepting of others and I don't see a lot of discrimination - I am so glad about this but I also recognize that this is the very thing that can sometimes make us to comfortable. I don't ever want to get to comfortable when it comes to injustice.  So thanks Bonsey for talking about it, putting it out there, and writing it so well. 

Also, she's pretty funny as evidenced by this sentence "Vicodin should come with a hard candy shell. I just love it so much! I think it should taste like Skittles. Instead, it has to win the prize for Worst Tasting Drug on the Market. If there were such a contest. Bastards."  I laughed out loud! I really like funny smart women. Check her out and enjoy!

Hunchie - Every family has one. Right?

I have this Great Aunt who my children call Hunchie (not to her face). It's because she has a huge hunch on her back. I'm not even sure why she has it. Maybe I don't want to know, I mean, what if it was some kind of hereditary thing. Which I'm sure it isn't but just to be on the safe side I'm not asking the details - I'm sticking to the threat my mom always said - "If you don't stand up straight your going to end up with a hump on your back!". Hunchie is dying. At lease we think she is. She is 94 and has survived more "she won't make it through the night" and "it could be any minute now" speeches from doctors and nurses than I can count. I'm tempted to say she's in a tight race with Zsa Zsa Gabor. And if you know anything about Zsa Zsa's situation then I know you too read way to much low brow celebrity trash like I do. Anyway, my dad calls Sister and I in December to tell us Hunchie has been taking to the hospital with some terrible infections. I googled the infections and assured my father that it was going to be a swift and merciful passing, that no one in her condition much less fairly healthy survives. At least not very likely to survive. And then she survived. January came and she was again rushed to the hospital and again they said "this was the end", "it would be any minute", but it wasn't. It's been almost three weeks and she's been moved to a nursing home. It might sound like I don't care that she is dying, but I do. She wasn't the kind of Aunt who hugged, or said sweet things, or really cared  about children.  She was every bit the stiff German that my grandmother had always described my great grandmother as - on my grandfathers side.  To put it bluntly she wasn't nice at all.  She wasn't mean, just indifferent.  She did care about herself. a lot, but that was it.  And she never had children so now at the end of her life it is only my father and Sister and I. And my step mom - but she doesn't really do the dieing thing so well.   I'm not sure where I was going with this post.  I know I feel guilty about the fact that I spend time wondering why all the women in my life who loved us so much died and the two (Great Aunt Ruth and Hunchie) who have pretty much loved only themselves just keep on trucking. 

And the hunch on her back, it's so weird.  My kids keep asking me if they'll be able to see the hunch in the casket. I don't even know how you lay a hunch-back on their back. Do they do that? Maybe they lay them on their side. I tell the kids we should focus on her having a peaceful passing.  I'm as curious as the kids are.

On another note my great Aunt Ruth - who belongs to Sister and I - turned 91 last week. We took the kids and some Oreo cakesters and Reese's Peanut Butter Cups and homemade cards to her to celebrate.  She was as grouchy and pissed off as ever.  The kids noticed this skin tag on her arm that stands up straight, like a little mountain, on her arm.  I saw them staring, they couldn't look away.  I could hardly look away myself.  When we were leaving, Henry leaned in to hug her and he did the whole stiff arm hug thing - the kind where his fist where closed up tight and his arms where straight and they just kind of bumped her.  I knew exactly how he felt. Skin tags are funky.

I'll keep ya posted on Hunchie.

Family Yoga

This last week we were snowed in for four days! It was bliss! No school and lots of time laying around were great... and then the cabin fever (CF) set in. Our good friend owns a yoga studio in the neighborhood and hosted a family yoga for all those with CF. It was perfect.

Horrible Horrible Thing

On Saturday our family & our street (Magnolia) received some horrible horrible news.  An article in the local newspaper informed us all that our neighbor - my NEXT DOOR neighbor was now a convicted sex offender.  He was found guilty of Indecency With A Child.  To say that we are devastated would be an understatement.  Our street is our safe haven, our family, our place of refuge and now there is this scary ugliness here.

So often we think that this is not the kind of thing that happens where we live, to people we know.  So let me start by describing where I live.  My neighborhood has been recognized as historical with the accompanying designations.  It is located on the edge of downtown and considered very desirable.  The houses are wonderful and old with big front porches.  People take care of one another.  We know every neighbor on the street.  People hangout  on their porches and front yards when the weather is nice. When a baby is born, or someone dies, or is sick we all make food for them, or mow their lawn, or whatever - we take care of each other.  Those of us that live here feel so so lucky. 

Now I'll tell you about the neighbor.  He has lived next door to us for about 7 years.  His wife has lived in the home for many years and was here when we moved in 14 years ago.  They both worked for our local city newspaper.  Nice cars, nice furniture, two sweet little white fluffy dogs, and a great old school coke machine with the coldest cokes ever.  What I'm trying to say is that they were very very normal.  My neighbor, the convicted sex offender, is what many would call a good old southern boy living in the big city.  His manners are impeccable, he has a kind word for everyone he meets, always willing to lend a hand, each morning as he walks his dogs he puts his neighbors newspapers on their front porches.  He has always been nice to my children and the other children on the street - but not to nice, not weird nice, just normal nice.  And then Saturday the bottom fell out of our perfectness.  Or better said, what we thought was our own little slice of perfectness.

I was coming home from a yoga class all relaxed and peaceful.  I got a call form a neighbor asking if I had read the paper. I had not.  The article said a 58 year old local man had been sentenced in fondling case.  I would love to post a link to the article, but not feeling so much like putting our address out for all of cyber space. To the few (two) of you who have been reading this blog since the beginning if you want to read it let me know and I'll email the link.  Now for the rest of the story - the article says that the victim was 11 and had told her grandmother that he had fondled her on several occasions. (this took place in a small town near us where he has land that he tends his cattle on)  He plead guilty and now is on 10 years probation, has to pay a fine, do 200 hours of community service, stay away from places where children congregate ect.  I am appalled.  He admits his guilt and gets probation?   How can this be? How can this be considered justice?

We had to sit down with our sweet and innocent children and tell them.  We had to tell them that this man, that had always been so kind to our family, had committed a crime against a child.  It was awful to have to tell them this.  They were shaken.  They were unable to reconcile this.  E said "But you don't believe it do you?  You don't believe he would ever do anything bad do you? Do you?"  What I told her was that there were two things that we knew to be the absolute truth and they were #1. That daddy and I were very very thankful that in all the years that we had known him he had only shown kindness to our family. And  #2.  That  he was guilty of a crime against a child, that a child had said he had hurt her - and we believed her. Shug then told the children that the newspaper was on the dining room table, open to the article, and that if they wanted to they could read it.  And that we would answer ANY questions they had.  We assured them they were safe. I hardly feel sure of anything.  Except that I would do anything to keep my children safe.

And then when I was alone I cried.  I cried a lot.  I cried for the lost innocence of my children, of my street.  I cried because this beautiful sweet loving place that has been our refuge for 14 years has this ugly thing in it.  I cried because this man that I, that we all, thought was so wonderful was something else. I cried because a child was hurt.  I cried because I wante this man gone from my street, from my neighborhood.  It is sad, I am sad.

Shug and I will ask him to move.  Not because we think this will make him move but because we want him to know how we feel. We want him to know that we will never accept this for our children or ourselves.  This is OUR safe place, our refuge, our home, our family, our street - and he cannot be here.  I don't know how it will happen but I can promise you that he will move away.  We will not.
 The outcry of the street and neighborhood is big.  People are upset on so many levels, for so many reasons.

This post is long and I'm worn out. I will write more if there is more.

2-2-11
It still feels unreal, unfair, unjust.  My mind wanders to the little girl, my heart aches for her.  When I hear his truck pull into his driveway I feel myself tense.  As I stand at my kitchen sink I see their windows. I think about his wife - I watched her cry the other evening. 

Left my Rockstar-ness in Vegas

I'm home from Vegas.  Home from feeling glamorous. I like that you can leave the state, get in a hotel room and everything seems cooler.  Including your husband.  Not that I don't think he's cool, but the truth is when anyone is standing in a fabulous room with the lights of a crazy city behind you, you just are - more.  More everything, more whatever it is.  And for me personally, when I get to far away from the kids to make it to the emergency room should one of them break an arm or something - I really go for it! Not crazy bad, crazy good.
 I have to say that almost every night I was over-served (my way of saying I drank too much). We had some incredible food, which was the main reason we were in Vegas.  I plan to post more about the food another time.  Of course we gambled too. And while it was a great trip and I loved getting to be wild - I am happy to be home.

January 2010

Today is a HUGE DAY for Sister and I - Today marks 12 WHOLE MONTHS without someone dieing. The first time we have made it a year in a four year span.  Also, the fact that it was an IMPORTANT female in our family every time only added to it.  I am thankful and grateful that we have finally had a year without death.  Today is also my mothers birthday.  My grandmother (mom's mom) was the last to die, last year, the day before mom's birthday.  So I am celebrating!!!!!!  Now if anyone dies in the very near future I am going to be a little pissed.  I am posting a picture of my sister and my Mema from last year. Sister was so good at giving comfort and love.  I'm not posting the picture to bring about sadness but because it is beautiful to me. It's beautiful to me that we can be sharing space and love with someone who is about to embark on a new journey outside of this life.

Only picture I can post without getting arrested...

Vegas...

Taking off the Extra lbs.

I'm working on taking off the extra pounds I have put on.  I have not gained back all the weight I lost but some.  12 to be exact.  Actually it's more like 15 or 17.  Okay, I said it.  Sort of said it.  I am just so pissed that I have to re loose the same damn weight.  I would love to say that I gained it back because I wasn't smoking but the truth is it's because I quit working out.  How stupid was that? Very. So while I am not a huge fan of dieting - more into eating normal and working out - I am dieting right now to get back to my healthy weight.  And it sucks.  I keep ya posted.

Pablo

I really love our dog. I wasn't always a dog person.

Hello 2011!

I would have written sooner but my laptop had a bad virus.  Shug woke me up really early on the eve of the new year to tell me there was a very serious and scary message flashing across the screen and everything was locked up.  He was also looking for his wallet because there was a message that said his "family, home, secretary and bank accounts could be in grave danger" and he could give them his credit card number and they would clean the virus off.  And I guess save us all.  I saved us all by screaming "don't dare put your credit card number in there - are you crazy?".  I asked him what website he was on when the virus hit and the conversation went something like this
Me "What were you on when it happened?"
Him "mumble mumble mumble"
Me "What?"
Him "mumble mumble mumble"
Me "What Shug?" At this point I was pretty sure I knew where he was but just for fun I wanted him to say it out loud.
Him "Somewhere bad"
Me "No shit - It put a virus on our computer!" I was having a great time by now!!!
Him "It was really bad babe.  If it can't get fixed we'll get ya that Mac Book you've been wanting"
Me "Porn at 5 am?"  I was laughing my ass off inside and very happy!

See, the thing is, Shug nailed it. I've really been wanting a new computer for a while now, but I just couldn't justify buying one when my old one was working fine. And now it was like I'd hit the jackpot. 
I told him not to worry about it, that everything was backed up and maybe I could get the virus off.  Then I spent the next 20 minutes staring at the screen and randomly tapping keys working to remove the nasty virus.  I yelled to the other room that I thought it might be one of those kind that never comes off.  A few minutes later he came into let me know that his IT guy from work was going to take a look at it.  DAMNIT! Long story short the damn IT guy fixed it.  And he put a better virus blocker on so back to safely surfing porn sites.

Happy New Year!