Please, if you love me, Photoshop me

I can honestly say I would never post an ugly picture of anyone on Facebook. Even someone I didn't like. I sure wouldn't want someone to do it to me. So when a well meaning friend posts an ugly picture... Maybe it's my vanity speaking, maybe so, but I when someone I haven't seen in 20 years looks at a photo I've been tagged in I wanna look good! I was just your normal HS girls with way too much eye shadow and way big hair wearing Units outfits. I feel like a good bottle of wine, that I have only gotten better with age. I would like my pictures to reflect that! Mr. Shug says I have a really high self esteem - I'm not wearing Units and purple eyeshadow anymore so it should be higher than in HS. I'm saying all this because after a 40th birthday dinner for a friend/neighbor I woke up thinking that she might be posting pictures. I normally wouldn't fly out of bed to check but before the dinner (7pm) I had stopped off a little earlier (3pm) for a couple of drinks with another friend. Suffice to say when I arrived at the b-day dinner I was very composed but secretly had a really good buzz going. All this led up to me really enjoying the picture taking. I did make a mad dash for the computer and sure enough in nice big print "_____ has tagged you in 7 pictures". I untagged myself as quickly as possible from the really bad ones and left the halfway descent picture of me and Mr. Shug. There still there for all the FB folks to see. I have to live with that. But from now on I am going to be so selective when friends are taking pictures unless it is my BFF's who would never post a bad picture. If your humming "Your So Vain" right now I don't even mind, because I just might be - today.
Units

Deep in love, not a lot to say...

Mr. Shug comes home to night. He left last week for the mountains. Mountain biking with some friends and opening the cabin for the summer. I can't wait to see him, hug him, love on him. He is everything I want. And there is a part of me, that I can't explain, that will miss the easiness of having him gone. I feel a little ashamed to even type it. He is the love of my life, kind and gentle, funny to the core, and still gives me butterflies. And yet, when he returns from a trip I always feel these screwy mixed up feelings.

Facebook Adult Supervision

When I first got on Facebook I accepted every friend request that came my way. The friends that I had lost touch with over the years, the people from high school that I had always wondered what had happened to, the friend of the friend that I got drunk with a few years back (what was their name? they sure were fun, I think), the crush I thought I would always like, the people I went to HS with but didn't remember (you went to HS with ____, be their friend), moms from the kids school, the list goes on and on. After I got over the new of FB I realized I needed to do a clean up. Things had spiraled out of control and the friend list was full of people I didn't really know or care about. I decided to use the closet method - if I hadn't sent a message directly to them or worn them in the last 6 months they were off the list! This felt almost as good as cleaning out my closet and went a whole lot faster. The problem was solved! Sadly, new problems continue to arise. The request from family members (she parties that much?), my trainer (no need to see me chowing down on a big fat burger), my friend's mom (feels too much like adult supervision), you get the drift. So how do you get off the hook? And for all those out there who have their boss on their friend list, wake up people. If you have know idea what I'm talking about then please check out http://beanieandmrt.blogspot.com/2009/06/why-you-shouldnt-friend-your-boss-on.html, and then take your boss off!

I Feel Thinner Because...

• This morning when I weighed I saw a number that I haven't seen in 5 years!
• I have been hungry for the last 3 months.
• Yesterday at the water park with my kids I saw several moms that were bigger than me (and yes I feel like a real bitch saying this one, but it is true we have all compared ourselves to someone else to feel better at some point. And I was in a swimsuit so was needing some serious feel better mojo)
• I have lost 2o something pounds!!!!
• I'm wearing a pair of pants that have never fit since they landed in my closet!
• I'm trying to think like a thin person to help change my brain and skinny people always feel thin, right? Just typing that made me feel cheesy.
• I have less to lose than I've already lost!

I will turn 40 this fall and I am going to be hot and healthy. I know healthy should be first in that sentence but I'm trying to be honest! I'm tired of being the chick with the great personality that's cute and kinda chunky. I don't think it would be so bad if when I'm 40 someone describes be as that "MILF with the 2 kids"! In fact I would love it!

Irreconcilable Differences: He didn't shut the bathroom door

This morning I woke to find bathroom trash all over the house. I'm not a morning person and fake it everyday for the sake of my children but today there was no chance. Mr. Shug just "forgot I guess" to shut the bathroom door - for the 1 billionth time. How hard can it be? Last month I told him if he didn't start remembering to shut the door I was going to have to get a hysterectomy. Just saying it made me laugh my ass off - the response I got from him was one of those dumb husband stares. I know I ask a lot from him: pick up your underwear, dishes in the sink, take out the trash ONCE a week, but I don't think this is asking too much. Well, obviously it is... I don't want to resort to putting a screen door spring on the bathroom door but at this point I don't have a lot of options. Do you remember the chickens at the Fair that could do tricks? Every time they they poked a certain colored button with their beak a little treat would drop out. I bet if every time he remembered to shut the door a can of beer rolled down a shoot into his hand we wouldn't have a problem. I need to teach the old dog some new tricks, and teach Pablo that his food is the stuff in a bowl in the laundry room! Period

Eggplant - Because I can't think of a better title

I grew this. I GREW THIS. I am so jazzed about my eggplant! The community garden that I practically forced on my neighbors is really kickin some ass! There are 7 working garden beds making food (slowly) and looking so lovely.

No drugs needed

This is the moon I see from my yard tonight, without any drugs involved. I did swirl my camera around and use a slow shutter speed. I have seen a moon very similiar to this, many years ago, in large part to some very good drugs.

Another day another funeral, and no I am not a mortician...

I am heading to another funeral today. If this keeps up people may stop being my friend. In 15 months I have been to 7 funerals that I can remember. I say this because for about 6 months after my mom's (May 08) whenever I went to one I just zoned out and mostly relived hers or pictured myself on a beach - drunk. Guess I was my coping. Anyway, I have known so many people to die lately its starting to make me... And I'm even talking about the ones that I don't really know but know their families or friends. I am counting these as well because I still feel bad for them. I am officially declaring that know one closely related through blood or friends (or Cyber space) can die for the rest of the year. And I can only hope that I don't come across one more blog of someone loosing a child because this I really cannot bare. The back story to that is, by total chance I came across a blog and then another of women who had just lost a child. Some horrible thing that I could not control took over me and I spent the next several days/weeks reading all their old post while simultaneously checking for updates. I cried for them, ached for them and don't even know them. I now feel like one of the women is my friend, being that I did have to send her an e-mail a time or two. I didn't mean to care so about a perfect stranger but it just happened. My heart still a little torn from the loss of my mom grieved for a stranger. I could write more on all this but alas I must leave for the next funeral.