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I'm home from Jamaica.  I have so much to write but alas I'm going to have to wait until some brain cells re-grow.  It was that much fun. 

Before and Middle

Here are the before and middle pictures of my life with a trainer.  The afters will come sometime this spring when I am at my health goal.  These two pictures were taken 13 weeks apart.

Puffers Paradise

Mr. Shug ask me in the spring what I wanted for my 40th birthday.  I said a long trip to Jamaica, time on the beach with him and some great ganja friends.  We leave on Wednesday.  I love Mr. Shug...

40 and Kick Ass

Today is my 40th birthday! It feels great.  It feels the way 16 and 21 did, totally bad ass.  I'm happy, healthy, and loved by many amazing people.  I'm full of gratitude for the life I have been given and plan to live it that way. 

Last Day of 39 and some other stuff...

I can't believe I haven't written anything for so long. It's not that I have nothing to write about because I do.  I started to feel like my writting could be boderline boring so was stuck in a rut.  But then I got my mojo back and along with that comes my abnormally high self esteem so... I'm back! 

Whats been going on:

FGW
I had my anual Fall Girls Weekend.  It was completely out of controll as usual.  Six women way out in the country with lots of great food and plenty of party supplies is a recipie for greatness/trouble, depending how you look at it.  My friends tend to lean toward the crazier side. Or maybe all good women are like this but not all are bold and brave enough to let their real selves shine through.  We took turns driving the golf cart around drunk.  I think this is a perfectly safe activity being that the cart will only go so fast and we are in the middle of nowhere.  Conversatin topics of FGW: How much husbands were loved, why pot should be leagalized, the greatest bands of all time, top 5 books, how much husbands could be unloved, turning 40, dreams, best wine, how smart we are, if all woman have lesbian tendencies, is that really cheating..., secreat blogs, secret crushes, ...
I really believe I have an amazing group of woman in my life.  One of them has known and loved me since we were 8yrs old.  Others of us have been friends for over 20 years.  We agreed a long time ago to be a constant in each others lives no matter how fucked up one of us got.  There is a great security and freedom that comes with this kind of promise.  When anyone of us is flipping out, going crazy, just being a real bitch or a bad friend, we ride it out.  We know that at anytime "it could be me" so we just stick it out until the nutty one gets her senses back.  I know that these woman will never leave me, I know that I will never leave them.  It is an example of friendship that I hope my children witness and create in their on lives someday. Well not the booze and drugs and fucked up parts. 

Annual Magnolia Food Fight
Each year Mr. Shug and I host a food fight for our street.  We set up several tables of sweet foods that can be hosed into the ground (so 2 weeks later your not still starreing at noodles in your yard), a first aid station table, an icechest of adult beverages, a kids icechest, and chairs to watch.  We started doing this because it sounded like a great time.  Our kids think we are the best parents ever, for that day anyway.

Stroke

My grandmother had a stroke.  Because my mother is no longer alive the job of taking care of the elderly in the family has fallen to my sister and I.  Which by the way we don't mind.  And I mean that, I didn't just say that to protect my karma. So we loaded up the kids and drove 3 hours to the hospital to handle things.  It totally sucks that real life hospitals are nothing like Grey's Anatomy.  She survived and is now in a premire neuro rehab center where they are working daily to unscramble her brain. 

The end of 39

Today is the last day of my 30's.  I'm so happy to be turning 40.  I would never go back.  I am more wiser, happier, secure in my own skin, a better friend, a better mother, cuter and healthier, full of gratitude and full of love with each passing year! SO BRING ON 40!

Coming tomorrow:  Before and after pictures of my life with a trainer!

 I can't believe there is no spell check.  I have a degree in Journalism but can't spell worth a damn!

PMS - It's Not Just for Periods Anymore

I spent a better portion of yesterday thinking about how Mr. Shug and most of the other people I know where total dumb asses. Nobody could do/say anything right, except for me of course. Somewhere around mid afternoon I realized I must be having PMS. This has never been a problem for me but it seems as I get closer to 40 something is changing. I'm pissed just thinking about it. I don't mind at all that I'm almost 40, I'm pissed because now there is the very real possibility that once a month my husband is going to be secretly drawing up divorce papers in his head while my kids whisper to each other that they want me and daddy to split up so they only have to see me every other weekend. I do not want to be a bitch unless I want to be a bitch and PMS leaves me no option. Sister told me to take drugs (prescription, not pot), said she does every month for this reason. After some thinking I decided to get back on my "mommy's chasing butterflies" pill and pop the Xanex when I feel the PMS coming on. Problem solved. BUT THEN... last night as I listened to Mr. Shug droning on and on talking I realized this had nothing to do with menstrual...it was marital. I have been having Post Maritial Syndrome. I'm being a total bitch because I'm married! Armed with this new epiphany, I gave myself PXS - Post Xanex Syndrome, sat on the front porch, smoked cigarettes and sipped on some wine. The wine was thrown in for good measure, I didn't want the Xanex to have to kick the bitchy moods ass all by itself! I just feel empowered knowing that anytime during the month if I'm feeling bitchy and Mr. Shug says "Do you have PMS?" I can say yes and it will be true.

KY - XXX

My friend told me about Intense, a new KY product for women. The cost is $25.00. For KY? So I went to the website to check it out. I was blown away. By the website I mean. I was beyond grateful that the kids were at school. I felt like I had "accidently" stumbled onto a soft porn site. This is NOT the KY of our parents generation. Products for men, women, partners and couples. Massage, tingle, warming, his and hers, something for everyone. There is an "Intimacy Index" which helps you figure out where you are, where you want to be and how to get there. WOW. If you are not sure what to do with their products they will gladly explain, using very frank language, exactly where/how to use it. The site is very interactive, even offering you a place to create a wish list of your fantsies and the products you want your partner to buy. I'm laughing my ass off right now pictureing that being on a wedding invitation as places the couple are registered! I almost forgot, while your browsing the site there is porn music playing in the background to set the mood...I guess.

All this time I thought I had to go to a "special store" to get the goods and all I had to do was walk into my local drugstore! Not that I'm embarresed to go into the sexy shops, it's just more convient to run up the street and grab some allergy meds and a bottle of "Intrigue - to unlock my fantisies".

The website could almost count as a "fluffer". And if you don't know what that is then your not familiar with porn making lingo or have never hung out on my front porch with a bunch of my neighbors and a few bottles of wine. That could be a positive or a negative. Either way...

Did I buy the Intense? Maybe, but don't bother asking Mr. Shug because..... "K-Y® Brand INTENSE™ was specially formulated for a woman's use". That makes me laugh my head off! GO KY, your stepping out of the box and your not afraid of getting dirty!

KY