6th Grade Is Killing Me

Sixth grade is killing me and I'm 41.  My sweet girl started 6th grade this week and it is one of the hardest things I've gone through as a parent.  The school is full of 6th graders, twice as many kids as she had in her whole elementary.  It's a shock to the system.  Her classes are full of kids she doesn't know, the cafeteria is a sea of faces, laughing and talking and hanging out, and she is floating without a life preserver.

 I know she will be okay, and I know that a billion kids have gone before her and survived.  But they weren't my child.

I so clearly remember taking her to kindergarten.  As we walked down the hall she held my hand tight, and as we walked into the room she held even tighter.  Those tiny little fingers gripping with all their might. As we walked down the sidewalk to the 6th grade center I was rattling on about how much fun it was going to be and how great it would be to make new friends, and then I felt her.  She reached out and took my hand, holding on tight, those fingers, now longer, griping with all their might.  And in that moment, my heart ached in a way I hadn't known before - like all the other times in her life I could somehow protect her from the really crappy parts of growing up, but not this time.

I want her to make a really great friend, to feel comfortable, to laugh a lot, and to remember 6th grade as a great time in her life.  I want everyone I know to pray that this is what will happen, and if you don't pray then light a candle, or send it out to the universe, just do something, because seeing big sad tears roll down her face is killing me.  

Prisoners & Disney World

Sister and I (and husbands) are taking the kids to Disney World in June! We bought the trip in January and have been waiting until it got closer to tell them.  I had this great idea that we would blindfold them and all of us put on Mickey mouse shirts for the big reveal.  The reason I wanted us to wear Disney shirts is because I thought it would be really funny to see Shug and my brother in law in them.  I was so right - this is two guys who would never wear a shirt with Mickey on it.  Anyway, I couldn't find blindfolds so I grabbed pillowcases. The kids put them on, we all put on our dorky Mickey shirts then we told the kids to take off their blindfolds and guess where we were going the day after school got out.  They went crazy screaming, jumping into daddy's arms, jumping on his back, screaming Disney stuff.  Of course,  as sweet as all that was, I was thinking about bad it would suck if they threw his back out and I had to do 7 days at Disney without his help him.   Aside from that thought,  it was so fun to see their joy..  As soon as Sister and I watched the video we realized the kids look like prisoners at Guantanamo Bay.  So much for Disney wanting to use our video in one of their commercials. 

Sunday Morning Fun

The audio on this video is crazy funny. . Henry is on the bike and his friend is cheering from the side lines.
Enjoy!

Dumbass?

I knew the minute I saw this billboard what was coming. I asked Henry (age 8) to read it out loud... Of course he said "Keeping Dumbass Happy". I LOVE doing stuff like this!!!
Happy Friday!

Discrimination at the Fun Park

Sister and I took the children to Six Flags today. It was Fright Fest which means it was decorated for Halloween and there were ghouls walking around. The kids couldn't have been more jazzed.  We had been on a few rides, the swings, the big boat thing that swings back and forth, just working the kids up to the roller coasters.  We picked the Run Away Mine Train as the first one to take the kids on.  We love this one, we rode it when we were kids. We stood in line, got the kids all settled in to their seats, got ourselves settled in and were ready to go.  And then it happened.  Two teenagers came up and informed us that unless Sister took her hat off she would have to get off the ride.  It is VERY obvious that she has no hair.  We kindly explained that she had no hair and would not be comfortable with her hat off (note that there are lots of people all waiting to ride and watching this) and that she would hold it on during the ride.  They said NO and explained that people were always loosing their hats on the rides so now they just made people take them off because they couldn't be responsible for all the lost hats, it was policy.  Of course we said that they would not be responsible if she lost her hat and to PLEASE let her ride and that our children were on and we wanted to be with them. They said NO.  So she and I got off and the roller coaster rolled. Our children loved it but we didn't get to see them loving it or hear them screaming and laughing.  People ride with wigs all the time. She could have worn a wig but then her head would have sweated all day. It sucks and I'm still pissed.  We didn't go and complain to management for a few reasons.  It was on the other side of the park, the kids were so excited to ride more rides not sit in an office while we complained, the park wasn't open that much longer and I think we were just so pissed it would have been a scene.  We did get to ride one coaster, all of us together, after we pretty much let the boys running it know that we were getting on with our kids and that that was the end of the discussion.  After that we stopped gripping about it and showed our kids the best time we could! We laughed a lot, rode non roller coaster rides, ate some junk and enjoyed our time together. 

But I'm not through being pissed at Six Flags.  We have season passes and plan on going a lot now that its cooled down and Sister (and the rest of us) won't have a heat stroke. She shouldn't have to wear a wig just so she can ride the coasters - which would probably fly off anyway!. If it was some type of safety hazard then I could understand, but these are not big loop ta loop upside down coasters. We are talking about 40 year old rides that are suitable for 7 year olds. I want to send an email to management and I want them to say that she can ride on any ride and doesn't have to do it bald. I want them to know that she would love to have hair whipping in the wind on a roller coaster. But she has a flowery hat instead.

Six Flags - You Suck (sometimes)

The Magic Wallet

We stopped at a gas station so everyone, including the dog (Pablo),  could take a bathroom break.  I ran in and bought some ice, refilled the chest in the back of the car and got everybody some water and grapes. And then I took over the driving.  I drove for the next 80 miles up and over an enormous mountain pass.  Everyone in the car, including Pablo, slept. Sometime later everyone woke and it was time to stop again.  We got out, took turns in the bathrooms and I walked the dog.  I was flagged back to the car by Shug. He was standing there at the back just pointing at something. Just pointing, not saying anything.  Which right away sent up a red flag. I mean, to just stand and point?  I took one look at what he was pointing at and shit myself  gasped.  My wallet was laying on the bumper... right where I had laid it when I got out the grapes and water.  While Shug stood around freaking out that not only was my important stuff in there but some of his too - I stood there thinking about my magic wallet.  I was really trying to focus on the magic wallet that stayed on the bumper all that way and not on the fact that I had left my wallet on the bumper!  I wanted Shug to recognize that it was only a wallet and not one of the children or the dog.  I took a picture of it and then we loaded back up, with Shug driving and I promptly took a xanax. And of course I spent the rest of the 7 day trip checking every 15 minutes to make sure that my wallet was in my purse.

Sno Day 2010

We live in a place where it NEVER snows like this.  When I say never I mean never in recorded history so this is crazy for us to see!

The snow made us all very happy. It also made for a ton of extra laundry but I shouldn't bitch because it will probably never hapen again.

A Day in the Life of a kick ass Stay @ Homer

Took the kids to their 2nd day of school which translates into 7hrs of me drinking and watching porn. Of course that's not true, I had lots of things to take care of and get done...and who could watch porn for 7hrs? horrible

Worked out with my personal trainer for 1hr. Mr. P decided that he would add jump rope sessions between every set of exercises to keep my hear rate up which in my opinion is already UP. So I learned to jump rope the correct way. Picture a boxer, like Rocky Balboa, but not at his prime, more like when he was trying to make a comeback and had gained a lot of weight. ANYWAY, lucky for me I was wearing black workout pants because turns out after birthing 2 kids "jumping rope" is synonymous with "lets pee myself". If that just freaked you out then pretend it's not true. I now have to decide if I'm going to give Mr.P (20 something yrs) a lesson on what happens to a woman's body after birthing or wear a pad. Both options suck.

Took Pablo to the dog park!

Went to the cleaners, the grocery, the photo shop, the post office, the bank, and the grocery.

Picked kids up from school.

Helped one with homework, made after school snacks, and folded 2 loads of laundry.

Prepared a yummy dinner of asparagus, fresh from the community garden black eye peas, broccoli and a rotisserie chicken (made by the grocery). As soon as I had gotten all the meat off the bones and plated it one of the kids called for me and while I was out of the room (for about 4 minutes) Pablo ate ALL the meat off the plate. All of it. I then nuked some frozen chicken nuggets.

Played with the kids, bathed the kids, put the kids to bed, kissed them goodnight, got a drink of water for one, tucked them back in, kissed them again, a then thanked my creator for the gift of my children.

Put away the dinner, cleaned the kitchen.

Sat on my wonderful front porch with R, my friend since 3rd grade, smoked cigarettes and had a glass of wine. I know the smokes are awful and I have already addressed it in an earlier post.

Made out with Mr. Shug.

It was a good day. There were a few things I had to leave out because if I put them in print I wouldn't be able to plead the 5th.

The New Face of Whip Its?

I'm not sure what to say about this. I'm not sure what to say about the fact that I bought it. Have I reached a new low? Admittedly I am feeling lazy as summer rolls to an end. There are a million pancake mixes out there that only require you add water... and I bought one in a spray can???? In my defense, the kids were begging me, and going to the grocery with the kids is like strolling the market in Mexico. The constant barrage of "buy this" "please please buy this, your so pretty" "I'll do anything if you buy this, please" wears a mother out!

And as for the Whip Its part... I laughed my head off picturing a bunch of moms standing around doing a WI before making their kids breakfast. For the record, I have not done a Whip It in 20 years - it's so 80's.